A lot has happened in the last few weeks and I’ve made a conscious decision in not saying anything on this venue before today.
In September hubby had a stroke – “mild”, fortunately – and our lives were just scrumbled over. I was suddenly solely responsible for daughter, work, going to hospital and later revalidation center. It was a lot. So I simply closed off and went with the flow, living by the day.
Best decision ever. You actually cannot do differently. It’s such an intense moment you can only survive it day by day.
Fortunately he recovered – and is still recovering! – pretty quickly and within a few weeks was back home. He still has some balance challenges and get tired very quickly, but is improving at hyper speed, so no complaints here.
Then, at the end of October my father in law passed away. The best thing for him – he was quite tired, sick, had lost a lot of weight and just wanted to go to his wife. He’d been a widower for 14 years and for him it was time to go. It was a sad happening for the rest of us, as it usually is.
Hubby made a beautiful presentation with old and new pictures and had a wonderful say during the eulogy, his brother had a short and also powerful say and daughter read a heartfelt poetry about her “opa”. All that with beautiful music that spoke to us and of him.
Cerimonies like that are still a bit alien to me. Used to the way things happen in Brazil, a lot quicker because of the warmer weather, I actually identify better with the Dutch way of working out this moment. As a not very religious person finding a way of showing the sadnesses of loss, but also the glory of knowing someone, in a different way is actually quite freeing. It helps with the whole process of letting go and rethinkg your priorities.
And then we come to exactly that: priorities. Life has a way of showing us what’s important and how we can deal with it. Let’s enjoy it to the fullest.